The Bitcoin Fun Has Just Started

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gm cousins [plural, noun],

To start, we can’t thank you enough for everyone who reads this newsletter and is a part of the Heinous Pumps community. Since our last newsletter, we have gained over 454 new cousins edging to not be exit liquidity. Thankfully, Cousin is here to save the day - and HOLY SH*T what a wild past month it has been. Trust us when we say we are back to regular scheduled programming with this newsletter. Cousin has spent the past couple of weeks training for his upcoming boxing match and is looking like Tyson in his prime. Needless to say, this newsletter is going to be epic so make sure to read the whole thing - also we have our first sponsor Autopilot so make sure to check them out/click so we can get our raffles flowing again 🚀 

Today’s Packed Newsletter:

🐂 Hang on the fun is just getting started
📍 Crypto Update
💸 Forex Update
💪 Hot Take: 4-day workweek?
🎥 SidechainGavin gets nuked midstream
😤 Heinous Pumps Community Takeover: $POOWEL
🎯 Meme Dump

With it being that we haven’t released a newsletter in the last few weeks I wanted to do something a little different, and rather than giving you a market update and all the bs, I wanted to talk about where we're heading long-term, and how insane this bull market is truly going to be.

First, the fact that some individuals are still in denial about us being in a bull market blows my mind. BTC has rallied over 375% from the $15,000 lows we had last year. Simply put, there is no such thing as a “375% bear market rally” LOL. That is the start of a full-blown bull market. On top of that, we have the ETFs being mass-marketed. For the first time in history, we are witnessing REAL institutional buying power from individuals who control the world. Other than Saylor, we have never seen money flow into the market, specifically BTC like this. Additionally, we have the Bitcoin halving less than 15 days out. The post-halving has played out to be BULLISH every single time it has occurred. On top of all that, we have election year, rate cuts, etc. So how some people choose to be bearish absolutely blows my mind, but don’t get me mistaken, we love them. Once everyone turns into a full-blown bull tard, the top will be close. As long as people continue to remain bearish and call for tops after a 5% pullback we remain MEGA bullish.

Now, as far as a long-term vision for the bull. I truly believe that if you are already well-positioned in the market you are early. In my opinion, the fun doesn’t even start till we break $100,000 per BTC. That's a nice round number and will get the mainstream media and genuine retail going. For the most part, true retail is still not here. People who have no connections to crypto or friends in the market are yet to ape. Your ‘normie’ friends who ask you about crypto only do so because they already know you have exposure to the market, make sense? So that is why I say TRUE retail is not here yet and will likely enter when BTC tags $100,000.

For the most part, I am more bullish on ETH than BTC. The reason is that it has lagged so hard and a lot of people have written it off and believe it is dead LOL. That is your buy indicator. This happens every cycle. BTC leads the race until noobs give up on their altcoins and capitulate, right before Ethereum does some pretty wicked stuff. I am also more bullish on ETH because in terms of returns it outperforms BTC every single mf cycle. This time I believe will be no different.

To conclude:

1. Real fun only starts with BTC above $100,000

2. If you are well positioned you are early

3. Don’t lose your money chasing memes or leverage because the fun hasn’t even started…

Presented by the Crypto Scroll Newsletter

• U.S. government: Sends 30k+ BTC ($2.1B) seized from Silk Road to Coinbase

• Bitcoin halving: is in 17 days (TD)

• A16Z: sets aside $75M for gaming startups, including web3 and blockchain games (CT)

• Greyscale: is launching a proof-of-stake fund for millionaires (TB)

• Ozempic: meme coin rug pulls millions of traders (M)

• Vitalik: A look into Vitalik’s holdings of crypto net worth (N)

• BTC Halving: How has the Bitcoin performed historically after the halving (TD)

• SBF: Why he thought he was doing ‘nothing wrong’ (WG)

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💸 U.S. DOLLAR INDEX

Longterm, my bias on the Dollar remains bearish. However, for this week it is neutral. Price has been trading around the monthly imbalance for quite some time now, and I do not believe it will leave this level without some sort of significant news. The FED continues to keep their cards close to their chest leaving the rest of us guessing when and how many rate cuts will happen this year. Once the FED confirms rate cuts DXY will likely fall, as rival assets will pick up.

An important piece of data to take into account is DXY seasonal tendencies. This chart shows us the seasonal tendencies of DXY and what it may do next. Of course, seasonal tendencies are not 100% guaranteed to be right, however, they certainly should not be ignored. I bring this chart up as we are currently in April, and according to the seasonal tendency chart in April, we usually see a sell off on the dollar, with the low of the move being made in May.

With U.S. CPI coming out this week I expect consolidation on Monday and Tuesday, with the bulk of this week's move being made on Wednesday.

Wall Street degen deca billionaire Steve Cohen (founder of Point 72 hedge fund and former insider trader) comes out with a statement that the 4 day workweek is coming. He states that Fridays are largely unproductive for most companies across the board and with that, there will be a sharp incline in golfers - of course, he also invested recently in the golf startup league TGL.

“I just think it’s an eventuality. … That’s just going into a theme of more leisure for people, which means golf rounds that go up, interest will go up, [and] I guess courses will be crowded,” said Cohen. 

Best part is he noted in the interview that unless Friday’s stock market closes his own employees will still have a 5-day workweek lol.

You hate to see this

SidechainGavin gets nuked midstream and watches the biggest red dildo candle wreck his whole portfolio. Worth the watch.

Where do we even start…

The Heinous Pumps community took over $POOWEL after the dev rugged us and @xtawtis went full degen cousin mode and got the sh*t tatted on him. It’s been a roller coaster with $POOWEL but ever since the community put it in their hands it’s flown up to a $3.7m market cap. Absolute insanity.

A TRUE CERTIFIED DEGEN.

If this newsletter pumped your bags and you would like to support us:
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• Do You Feel The Pump Yet?

• Artificial Intelligence Just Stole Your Girl

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• God Told Me To Scam You

Written by: Cousin Crypto, Gannon

Disclaimer: Heinous Pumps Newsletter does NOT provide financial advice. All content is for informational purposes only. Heinous Pumps is not a registered investment, legal, or tax advisor or a broker/dealer. Trading any crypto-related asset is extremely risky and could result in significant capital losses. Heinous Pumps is a satire-based newsletter and should not be taken seriously.