- Heinous Pumps
- Posts
- Santa's Got A Big Green Bag
Santa's Got A Big Green Bag
Heinous Pumps Job Board™️
Sponsor 🤝 Follow Us ✅ Kick Stream 🎥 Discord 📍
Healthy lifestyle, Healthier Bags. A newsletter dedicated to leveling up in every way imaginable. Subscribe below to not miss out.
GM,
What a WILD week it has been. For the cousins who went to Art Basel in Miami, I hope you have the day off.
Before we kick off this newsletter we want to add a major value to the cousins who read this newsletter.
Presenting drum roll please the Heinous Pumps Job Board™️
What’s this?
Cousins reading this newsletter come from all walks of life but most importantly are interested in DeFi, web3, finance, fitness, and all things involving money. However, we know that for many this insane practice of buying and selling highly risky assets is likely just a hobby for you - hell you might be reading this newsletter with a hard hat on yelling at the concrete crew, or worse shoveling elephant sht at the zoo. So this reminds me of a scene in one of my favorite movies …
“Are you behind on your credit card bills? Good. Pick up the phone and start dialing. Is your landlord threatening to evict you? Good. Pick up the phone and start dialing. Does your girlfriend think you're a f*cking loser? Pick up the phone and start f*cking dialing!”.
Now just replace “dialing” with “read Heinous Pumps’ Heinous Pumps Job Board™️ section in the newsletter and get a fcking job”.* Obviously, the first order of business with the community job board is for CEOs, recruiters, startup steams, etc, to fill out the form below so you can get your needed roles added to the newsletter and hire some cousins!
Why your company should recruit using Heinous Pumps Job Board™️:
This newsletter is read by over 6,000 cousins (and quickly growing) every week and we have only launched a month ago - a feat that no other newsletter has accomplished organically that I can think of. We currently host a 76% open rate and over a 15% click rate which in the newsletter media world are basically face melting good stats to have. (big thanks for the clicks cousins they are much appreciated). Lastly, to get this thing rolling the first 5 companies to sign up will get 2 weeks of job recruiting advertising for FREE.
Here’s the heatmap over the past 7 days in crypto:
What do we see first for BTC? |
Last week I was expecting one of two things: Vertical accumulation or a pullback.
We ended up getting both, first the vertical accumulation which pushed us into new yearly highs, followed by the pullback we saw happen last night/today. In an ideal world, I'd still like to see a bit more of a pullback take place before we take those highs again. As I’ve said countless times before, pullbacks in any market are extremely healthy, and it’s the fuel for the next leg up. Without pullbacks, we will aimlessly continue higher drenched in FOMO and have a crash and burn that will take months if not years to recover from.
Real talk: Open interest and funding are still a bit too high for my liking. This is the reason I would like a further pullback. With that being said, we did also see over $1 Billion dollars wiped out from today's nuke, so there is the chance that’s the only flush the market needed, however, I need to see a bit more capitulation before I go in with any large positions.
As always I am still extremely bullish on BTC and crypto for the next 1-2 years. Short-term price action does not worry me in the slightest, I see big dumps as a sale to stack my favorite coins before they receive peak hype next year, and the rest of the world wants to pay a significant premium for them (as the saying goes pigs get slaughtered). While we have already witnessed some pretty crazy pumps with the bags we hold, it’s in my mind still minimal of what’s next to come, which is why I will always play the long game. There will always be days of capitulation, even in a bull market. some of your favorite alts will nuke 30% in a day. These are the rainy days you save up for - “always buy when there’s blood in the streets”.
The HTF 1-month chart I shared from last week is still extremely valid, and honestly, probably the only chart I’m worried about. We came up pretty close to our final level of resistance. I do think there’s a good chance we make a run for it again and at worst sweeping that previous high we just created.
My plan still remains the same for the time being (keep in mind it could change quickly). Accumulate strong projects on red days. I believe the best is still to come, and all you need to do now is position yourself in a way you are able to maximize your gains over the next year or two.
Bitcoin’s market cap (~ $820B at the time of writing) momentarily flipped Meta, Berkshire Hathaway, and Tesla.
Coinbase has no plans to launch a BASE token. (D)
Bitcoin breaks $42K for first time in 20 months (and got up to 44k recently as well). (P)
Cristiano Ronaldo faces up to $1B in class action lawsuit over Binance endorsement. (CD)
A giant ETH whale has accumulated 42K ETH ($76M) since September. (DH)
MicroStrategy’s unrealized profit from Bitcoin now amasses $2.3B. (@WatcherGuru)
Bloomberg has predicted $500k per BTC in the next bull run. (FNB)
💸 DOLLAR INDEX - BEARISH
After sweeping the high time frame sell-side liquidity (which was our target) I said I would not be surprised if the Dollar had a small bounce which it did last week.
I am still bearish, so I‘m anticipating for the Dollar to sweep the equal highs above before selling off towards the end of the week.
We also have that Monthly bullish FVG that price traded through, so it should now act as resistance.
My next target for the Dollar is the liquidity below at 101.800
💸 EUR/USD - BULLISH
Price closed inside the Bullish weekly FVG last week, showing that it is still respecting that level. In sync with DXY, I expect the Price to tap that weekly Bullish Order Block one more time before rallying later on in the week.
💸 GBP/USD - BULLISH
Price is currently still in the bullish weekly FVG. So looking for Price to sweep the previous week's low before rallying towards the end of the week.
🗞️ NEWS
For this week the major news is The Federal Funds rate and the FOMC statements are on Wednesday.
A good mix is essentially life-changing especially if you work remotely. Good thing I (Gannon) care about work mixes more than life itself. Next time you are trading or just need something to get the work juices flowing put this on and go into ultra light beam work mode. You’re welcome. Also after this mix hit up Chris Luno, he’s just as good … you’re welcome x2.
Apparently, there is no shortage of degens in Congress. Sorry for back-to-back DOTWs being politicians but this one is too good not to mention. We are just going to leave this here …
Representative Josh Gottheimer just disclosed trades of Microsoft options worth up to $50M.
He pledged to put his money in a blind trust in 2022.
He still has not done so.
We estimate that Gottheimer has gained over $20M of wealth while in office.
These Microsoft trades are… twitter.com/i/web/status/1…
— Quiver Quantitative (@QuiverQuant)
4:36 PM • Dec 11, 2023
Written by: Cousin Crypto, Gannon
Disclaimer: Heinous Pumps Newsletter does NOT provide financial advice. All content is for informational purposes only. Heinous Pumps is not a registered investment, legal, or tax advisor or a broker/dealer. Trading any crypto-related asset is extremely risky and could result in significant capital losses. Heinous Pumps is a satire-based newsletter and should not be taken seriously.